

As if your nine months of vomiting and no alcohol didn’t sound pleasant enough, you can now add fries to your list of things you can’t enjoy. Did you know, for example, that pregnant and nursing women should not eat fries? They contain an agent known as acrylamide, which can cause cancer in pregnant and nursing women. The fibre in them helps waste pass through your system as smoothly as possible, like Derrick, the computer whiz kid who works at your local waste treatment facility and will not shut up about how great he thinks he is…īut fries can also be curious little buggers. Over 320 million imperial tons of potatoes are produced globally each year, with two thirds of this consumed as fries. The Belgians consume a staggering 165 pounds of fries per person per year. “Welcome to the Belgian fries museum!” “Look, I’m a tourist, I’m here to learn about French fries, why are you harping on about Belgian fries?” “They’re ours! THEY’RE OURS! Damn you France, damn you to hell! ARRRRGH!” “Say what you like, but I’m giving this five stars on Trip Advisor…” They have a museum dedicated to Belgian fries, but everyone else just knows it as the French fry museum. The Americans then popularised them through a variety of fast food chains and, funnily enough, many countries in the world do know them as ‘American fries.’ That’s even more a kick in the teeth for the Belgians, isn’t it? They were the ones who saw to the spread of fries around the world. When American soldiers showed up in Belgium during the First World War, they named the fries ‘French fries,’ not doing a great deal to convince others that Americans really do have a fantastic grasp of geography. America celebrated its 25th birthday not just with a cake but also by the introduction of fries into America, in a restaurant probably named ‘Ye Olde McDonalds.’

The locals loved fried fish, but since the river froze quite a lot, they ate fried potatoes as a substitute, the common theme here being that they love to fry things. Potatoes were being fried in the Meuse Valley in Belgium in the 1680s. Interestingly, the English bulldog that became the French one was, initially, most popular amongst Parisian prostitutes. France really has contributed nothing to the world but the hideous metric system. They were deemed too small to be of any use and were sent to France, where they became a new breed. French kissing was an English creation and, indeed, the French didn’t have a word for this until 2014 when they invented the word ‘galocher.’ French bulldogs are English, too. What does the French kiss, the French bulldog, the French horn and French Fries have in common? What’s that? They all come from France? You couldn’t be more wrong. Here’s a nice easy quiz question to get us started. Let’s start our odyssey with the name itself. One is completely irrelevant and should be consigned to history, and the other is the Queen. Comparing chips to fries is like comparing Queen Lizzy to Pluto. We love our chips, which are like French fries, but fatter. But let’s be happy about this one, because who doesn’t love a good old French fry? The British perhaps. Like a night in bed with me, the variety keeps on coming.
